I hate that I am weak

Must it always be me?

I look up to heaven and wonder where God was

When he decided to deprive my world of joy.

Or was it the forces of this world

Or perhaps the demons of the next

Either one I need an answer or I just might explode.

Ha ha

I have already exploded,

And my hope drowned a long time ago

Why was I made weak?

Why must I always fall?

Where is my equilibrium!

Where did my mental balance go!

I hear what you say, I am just not listening

I see what you do, I am just not ready to believe.

Somebody chain me

Anybody who loves me

Quickly!

No one?

Quickly Now!

None?

Perhaps I’ll chain myself

I want to rid myself of this world

I need to rid this world of me.

This fall I do not know how to deal with

Is anybody listening?

This is a cry for help

My hands, make the smoke signal

My lips, blow the trumpets

Quickly!

Someone might hear us

I am drowning

I am burning

I am dying.

Slowly slowly…

Was there really no one?

My fingers dancing vigorously above the water line

But the rest of me long gone

Save us now, we beg

Oh where are you my comforter?

Make it stop

Can you make it end?

Make the lies end

Make the misuse end

Make the disrespect end

Make the tormentors disappear

Make the molester’s burn

Make them all fade, please 

Or take me away, far away. 

I want to drift into nonexistence

I want my space

That place opened to just me

I want to be purged of the misery and disappointments of this world

Take me now!

There is nothing to mend

This fall has torn the strings of falls I buried

And they are feeding on my sanity

All at once.
So you’ll take me?

I am ready

There’s nothing left for me here.

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