DIARY OF A CRAZY EDO GIRL EPISODE TWO. FEMINISM; MY FIRST LOVE.

After reading Episode One, you understand that the ways of Edo people are peculiar to this world. A typical Edo family experiences more drama than you can ever imagine in a day (just look at TYWSE and MARAJI), each in their own different ways. But one thing that cuts across them all is the unspoken gender factor. I say unspoken because no parent would ever truly admit it (except my dad), and most of them never see it that way. So yes growing up under the circumstances which I did is one major reason I’m a strong, unashamed feminist today.

Na small small e de take start oh, little instances where we had stereotyped chores like the girl washes plates, she grinds pepper, she goes to the market, she sweeps the house, she cooks and does practically everything that required dirty hands. What do the boys do? They buy fuel and put on the generator, brush the rug, they go to banks (like the girls don’t know anything about money). The older I got, the clearer the picture of male dominance in my family. Call me a stubborn one if you may but I wasn’t going to stand for it, I’d give you an instance. From my primary six I stayed with a family friend and only went home every other weekend. So this particular Friday I came into the house really late and then I just went straight to bed. The next morning it was chore time and they asked me to go and wash plate. What! The four cardinal points met in my head at that moment. I was ready to be Ghandi, I was ready to go all Nelson Mandela on them and fight against injustice. Because there he was, my cousin, same age as I was, he was home and he ate with those plates and all he had to do that morning was sweep. I let the water works loose and tears flowed down my eyes.

“Was I at home? Ehn I was not at home now. I didn’t use out of the plate now”

I kept repeating this over and over till they had heard enough and flogged me into submission. So I guess you could call me a stubborn one. My first ever feminist move was way back in my js1. I moved the motion that girls too could brush rugs (boy did I regret this). And then it was time to start rotating the washing of plates with my male cousin. This was more of a selfish rather than selfless act because as I pointed out in Episode one, there was always so much family around and every morning I had to battle with heaps and mountains of dirty dishes. I kept on asking myself for days why it was just me until I tabled it before my mum. Now with a dad like mine you hear this all the time;

“Na woman, no wonder!”

He believes there’s a certain amount of intelligence a lady is privileged to have and that no matter how hard we try, we can never measure up to even the dumbest of men. But then have you met the dumb ones? As unbelievable as this would sound, I think he actually forgets I am girl when he makes statements like this to my face. Once we were in a conversation about a certain woman who had done something really dumb and my dad goes;

“Woman no get sense now”.

I stopped for a second and tried to process what he had said. And I’m like wow dad thanks for the confidence boost, I really appreciate. As it would seem, we are currently in an era where women seem more privileged than they had ever been and most chauvinists ask what feminists are still fighting for. I’d tell you; we’re just looking forward to a world where we are not regarded as ‘privileged’. I attended a girls’ only boarding school and most of my friends think that messed with my head. Did it? Did it really? How about you be the judge of that. I’ll keep writing, you’ll keep reading and eventually you’d be able to determine how screwed my head is.

Till next time!