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👌Iwritealot

DISEQUILIBRIUM?

I hate that I am weak

Must it always be me?

I look up to heaven and wonder where God was

When he decided to deprive my world of joy.

Or was it the forces of this world

Or perhaps the demons of the next

Either one I need an answer or I just might explode.

Ha ha

I have already exploded,

And my hope drowned a long time ago

Why was I made weak?

Why must I always fall?

Where is my equilibrium!

Where did my mental balance go!

I hear what you say, I am just not listening

I see what you do, I am just not ready to believe.

Somebody chain me

Anybody who loves me

Quickly!

No one?

Quickly Now!

None?

Perhaps I’ll chain myself

I want to rid myself of this world

I need to rid this world of me.

This fall I do not know how to deal with

Is anybody listening?

This is a cry for help

My hands, make the smoke signal

My lips, blow the trumpets

Quickly!

Someone might hear us

I am drowning

I am burning

I am dying.

Slowly slowly…

Was there really no one?

My fingers dancing vigorously above the water line

But the rest of me long gone

Save us now, we beg

Oh where are you my comforter?

Make it stop

Can you make it end?

Make the lies end

Make the misuse end

Make the disrespect end

Make the tormentors disappear

Make the molester’s burn

Make them all fade, please 

Or take me away, far away. 

I want to drift into nonexistence

I want my space

That place opened to just me

I want to be purged of the misery and disappointments of this world

Take me now!

There is nothing to mend

This fall has torn the strings of falls I buried

And they are feeding on my sanity

All at once.
So you’ll take me?

I am ready

There’s nothing left for me here.

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Movement 2017

Drama : I stop to blame the life I’ve lived and am grateful to breathe.  The method of healing only begins when regrets are buried beneath. My addiction to procrastination and loyalty to depression is the only string pulling me back from the life I deserve. Accept and admit I’ve had a great life than I believed I could ever possibly have. I have complained for years, I have hated for years and I think it’s time to grow up. I’ll be good I’ll stay good and I’ll start to own up. I am making no new year’s resolutions because that never works. But how about a clean slate and a fresh basket of good luck 😁😁

Tale of a survivor (chapter five) 

​Well so much for long talk hours, she was supposed to help me deal with this feelings, to fix me. But she took the cap off the bottle and dismissed me. And as I slept that night, two words echoed in my head Violated, deleted.

It was morning again and I hoped for a better day. It took a while for me to sleep the night before with Mrs. Nnena’s absurd therapy session and Ivie’s pending situation. Where was God? No seriously, where? I could not place my head around the fact that little Ivie wanted to kill herself. The girl was seventeen years old for goodness sake what could she possible have been going through? Boy troubles, what to wear and what not to wear? It was as if the guardian angel assigned to my family fell with Lucifer and we were all headed for impending doom.

I got up from bed and lazily walked to the bathroom to freshen up, my appointment with the shrink wasn’t till twelve and I planned to make the most out of my morning. A walk around the hotel wouldn’t be so bad, probably have breakfast downstairs and just sit and watch people go about their business. That was how I was going to spend my morning but you see nature always had its own course of events lined up for me.

Just as I was about to turn on the water, my mother called with news from the hospital. Ivie had woken up thank goodness and contrary to what the doctors told us, the wounds on her wrist were not self-inflicted. I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or worried. Relieved for a second that Ivie wasn’t suicidal but the story didn’t add up. Ivie claimed she was hit on the head when she entered her room after telling my mother to prepare oat meal for her. She remembered falling to the ground but that was it.

“But mama what is Ivie now trying to say? That somebody came into the house and tried to kill her?”

But how possible was that and for what reason. Ivie wasn’t the daughter of some president or senator or any dignitary. She wasn’t even a promising personality herself, I mean the young girl literally talked to no one. Zero acquaintances, zero relations and the only ones who would even consider her life valuable was her family. 

“Mama something tells me Ivie is not being entirely truthful with us”

Dial tone.

The line had been cut off, was this a joke? 

DE-PRES-SION 

I really have tried to let go off you 

But it would seem that our match 

Was sanctioned by cupid himself 

Took me by surprise 

Creeped in at my darkest moments 

Became one with my thoughts 

Set boundaries for my life 

Limited my association and acquaintances 

Told me what I should be 

Took my hand and led me down the dark tunnel 

The closer we got, the deeper we went

The dimmer the light at the end of the tunnel 

Tick Tock the clock to happy times ticked away 

Happy moments faded into memories made with you 

Memories made of you .

And then I couldn’t tell what I thought from what you told me 

Real blended into unreal 

Your words became one with my thoughts 

Did u kiss me while I slumbered ?

Did thy mighty sword slay the dragon that held me captive? 

Answer me! 

Help me logicalize this union 

I must be mad

Where else but in fairy tales does this bond exist? 

Like I am constantly woven into the gentle thorns that are your arms 

Leave me be! 

But never let me go

If you did what would I become?

I feel like Jesus, tempted by the devil but I failed to overcome 

Unconsciously, unwillingly I succumbed 

How do I let you go? 

You speak to me about everything else but this 

Why won’t you speak 

Should I sing our favorite song? 

Without you in whom would I find comfort? 

Why liken you to the devil when all you do is help me 

Feeding on my pain

Capitalizing on my shortcomings 

Tuning my wails 

Beating on my drums of desperation 

Oh sweet loving friend

Our union however savoury is cursed 

Let me go 

Please. 

Breathing by Imperial Mide

​Breathing…
It all started with dodo..

 My love for dodo is highly embarrassing.

Forget the big boy and the fine face and the classy poise…Dodo is bae..

Dodo doesn’t ask silly questions..

Dodo doesn’t ask for much…

Dodo doesn’t even doubt your love for her..😍

The plantains On Oau campus must have come from heaven�…🙏These niggas taste too good to be from earth😩

I was “jejely” frying these heavenly niggas…then i had a call…I left the Cookery to answer it,

The conversation got super Interesting.. I got carried away…That girl could really converse(oya face front and mind ya business) lol.
….A few minutes later.
I sat down… On a chair…Feeling betrayed…Staring at those Plantains in the pan, wondering how it happened, asking them when and why they went to hell fire that they were so black.
I Burnt it..
I was lost in my reverie, thinking about the Golden Brown Beauty that used to exist…I didn’t know a friend was dying..
Tayo, A Block mate had an attack… an Asthma Attack..
Tayo’s Girlfriend stormed into my room and pulled me by my hand, I saw a drying-off line of mascara mixed with tears that ran down her cheek..

She was crying.

She pulled me into his room without saying a word, I was wondering where all the respect she had for me went to…i was getting pissed off…until I saw my friend.

Apparently, Those heavenly plantains almost to sent my nigga to heaven.

While rescuing the burnt cuts of plantains, The kitchen was filled with smoke, Really nasty smoke, some of that smoke had leaked into Tayo’s room and initiated an asthma attack.

He told me of how he had lost his inhaler the night before and pleaded his girlfriend to get him another when she’s was coming around today…and Thankfully she did.

She did come around today only to find a choking and gasping boyfriend and a smoky room, Thanks to me.😶

I felt really bad.

I apologized to both parties…sincerely..

Getting back to my room, I was reflecting on how expensively difficult breathing was for Tayo.

Tayo’s breathing was like a Dstv subscription that must never expire, he must always renew the subscription before it expired..

If he doesn’t subscribe with his inhaler to enjoy the service (Oxygen), he would be denied access to Breathing.

Tayo is grateful for every clean breath that he takes….Are you?
Hollup..

What if you had to pay for breathing?

  Toddlers might breathe 20-30 times per minute. Older children and adults, when resting, usually breathe about 12-20 times per minute. Over the course of a day, that adds up to 17,000-30,000 breaths per day — or more! Those average breathing rates are for when you’re at res(You can ask Google)

Since oxygen is more important than Food, Including plantains (Well,Maybe😹) and with the Economic recession and the Economic meltdown around The world, A Breath of oxygen should cost 1,700 naira….in Nigeria.

Do the math

 30,000 X 1000 X 365 X your age..

Note that our breathing becomes rapid after some strenuous exercise… So, those of us that work out and jog and Indulge in any other “breathtaking activities”😎 (Clears throat😇) you might want to include Extra cash to clear out extra debts..

Believe me, even Bill Gates with pay and still be in debt.

And you do this every Two seconds for FREE without being grateful…
Ive got just one question…

Are you sane??

I should slap the living breath out of you.

P.S No character was harmed while taking this picture…why am I even explaining sef🙅 I don’t hit women✌

…and my love for plantain never flinched 😂😂

#HeavenlyPlantain

#IDidn’tMeanTo

#ThroesOfAsthma

#ForeverIndebted

#GratefulHeart.

#Imperial.

Untitled by IDesireDeath

I’m in a desert
And so are you
My soul’s melting and
Your eyes are running out of tears
Soon I’ll be nothing
but sand
And your veins
will hold my blood.

Open your eyes,
Look up to the sky
Feel the heat
Tearing out your eyes
You need me fast
But you’ve lost faith
In somethings
In yourself.
Oh, my killer,
I’ll save you still.

The hot sand is starting
to pull me in.
I’ll give you hope.
Your heart will soon be
pumping my blood
and I’ll refresh you
and quench your thirst.
I’ll give you hope.
In a little while, friend
I’ll be running through your veins
I’ll be the reason
you’re awake
And I’ll be killing
The dead once I’m in you.
I’ll give you hope.
Tear me open
with my claws
and my flesh,
Will become yours
and most importantly,
My blood, yours.

We have a long way ahead of us
So let’s just sit
And embrace the heat
Die,
And give hope to our kind

Sooo…

IDesireDeath

👌 Iwritealot

Mirage

Identity ;
I have been so sane lately
I think I might be crazy
If crazy was my identity
What have I become?
I treated my weaknesses vainly
Now my world is grizzly
Colourless
Void of emotions
Uncopywritable.

Dreams;
I dream of better times
But I know dreamers lie
Do dreamers lie?
The winter slumber
Creates the illusory.

Illusive;
To live is to think
Thoughts over imaginations
I think red daisies
Blue roses
Straight circles
Pink nights
Purple rain.
Mirrors into past moment
Foretell the casted personality
I know what is but not what isn’t
And then what is isn’t what is not.

Socrates calls me a fool
I know not;
And I know not that I know not
Socrates calls me a fool
But do I claim to know
When knowledge is certainty
And certainty is unreachable
How then can I know
Perhaps I’ll pray.

Religion only for the masses ;
I guess am an elite
I’ve forgotten how to pray
I’ve lost my urge to need
I’ve lost my quest for believe
Opium of the masses
If that is what I used to be
What have I become?

I am
I think
I know
Sanity equals insanity
Ten thousand twisted edges of life
I have been so sane lately
I think I might be insane
If crazy was my identity
What have I become?

👌 Iwritealot

SACRILEGE

We live our lifes
Either consciously or not
Believing in one supernatural being
Different from each other
Yet the message the preach the same

Continue reading “SACRILEGE”

My life’s Irony

I don’t have time to have time
I don’t have the will to have zeal
I am not strong enough to feel strength
I haven’t been cold enough to appreciate warmth.
Continue reading “My life’s Irony”

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